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Medication in is that good. Back in the 80s medication destroyed your body.

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Nowadays this is totally different. I know I will have to take medication for the rest of my life. I am never allowed to forget it. The pill makes the virus go to the lowest level possible in your body and it also helps your immune system stay strong.

No one these days who gets medication will have AIDS. But by the way, it is a choice to take medication, not a requirement. I started in February , 4 months after I found out I was positive.


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Not just because it helps your body to stay healthy. Right now the virus is undetectable in my body. When the virus is at that level, the possibility of transmitting it to others is extremely low. I think accepting it took the longest. The thing about getting HIV now is that medically and health wise the complications are pretty manageable. But mentally and emotionally is where the huge effect of this disease happens, at least in my experience. HIV never goes away for your whole life.

I wondered if somebody would ever wanna be close to me again. I knew I had a disease that I could potentially give to anyone just by loving them and having sex with them. I felt I would be dirty, diseased, unloveably sick for the rest of my life.

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I still do see a therapist. It was one of the first things I asked from my doctor: My way of dealing with HIV was talking about it openly from the beginning. With my family and friends, which was the right decision because all the people around me reacted amazingly.

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My mom flew to see me in Berlin right after I told her, which was incredible. My ex-boyfriend was there for me whenever I needed him. I kinda floated through the first months. I worked and tried to continue life as normal as possible. I told myself I was ok. I thought taking my first pill would make everything go away. I unraveled over the next months.

I had no self-esteem and hated myself. I suddenly hated everything I was doing. HIV brought up all the insecurities that were there for a long time. In summer of I fell into quite a bad depression. When I started medication I also stopped taking drugs. That was my first switch into a healthier lifestyle.

I also stopped drinking excessively and partying slowed down a lot. I always did sports, but I pushed myself to do even more. I tried to shift my habits in a more healthy direction, which helped stabilize my mood. In I went on an online date when I was on vacation in New York. A guy from Grindr. One meeting for some food turned into going on a walk and then going to another place for food and then drinks.

And at one point in a bar he told me that he was positive. This was the first time I ever met a guy who told me openly. I think I kind of faked it and played it cool even though I was really scared. But just being able to talk about it made me feel comfortable. This guy was so easy with it and so cool and not scared that I had to trust him. Later I found out that one of my closest friends in New York was also positive. He never had told me before.

So after my diagnosis I was kind of aware of what happens and the deal with medication and stuff. And I did reach out to the people that I knew who were positive to get insight and to get help from them. Especially about the medication. From the beginning on you were really open about what had happened. Did you ever experience anyone not being able to cope with you being positive or even being offensive like not wanting to drink out of the same glass?

I never had anything like that. In general everyone that I told has been quite understanding.

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Gay men are usually more easy as they have more contact with it. My rule for myself is that I try to tell everyone as soon as possible. I refuse to allow someone else make a decision without knowing the risks that they are taking. I was not allowed that choice. And now a little homo-education: Medication and the use of condoms removes almost percent of the risk. Even if I came in your face or mouth right now the chance would be pretty slim you get HIV laughs. When you think back two years ago, is there anything you would tell your former self?

This goes for all the choices that I make.

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And one thing that being positive has taught me — life is too short for being mad at yourself. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Maybe I needed to do everything as I did. It was part of the journey every twenty-something person goes on, this journey of figuring out who you are. Some people take longer, some take shorter. I was — I think — lucky to get the opportunity at 23 to get a punch in the face and say: What the fuck are you doing? Figure your shit out right now! This huge emotional trauma of becoming positive gave me the chance to sort my life out and realize who I was and who I wanted to be.

When and why did you decide to talk about HIV publicly to make others aware? The hetero people in my life were the ones who had the most lack of knowledge and the most questions about the disease. Although some gay people — I was very surprised — are completely uninformed about the topic. One of the first thoughts that I had when I got positive were: Okay, I have to go to Africa, I have to start volunteering for the United Nations or something laughs.

I wanted to make the world better just to have some purpose. I am incredibly lucky living and working in Germany, where I get great healthcare and access to treatment. The dating divas blog date i have been dating my boyfriend for a few years now and thanks so much for all the wonderful products and ideas dating divas. Die achse des guten 31, likes 6, talking about this achgutcom offizielle facebook page der einflussreichste deutsche autorenblog berliner. Die idee von das gegenteil dativ nach einem monat und dating des ersten schritt besser zum zeitpunkt dating, die sagen, die meisten denken im regal bleiben.

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